Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
