Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
