let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
