Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
