Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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