He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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