is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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