I can't watch pbs sober anymore
only if we run a train.
done.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
What a dumb baby whore.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
