I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
