Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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