it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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