im about as happy as oj after his trial
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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