I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
