everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
