then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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