Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
