I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
