Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize