she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
