He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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