he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
