Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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