awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
