Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
