You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
