just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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