I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
