dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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