i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
