that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Acid is not a monday night drug
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
What a dumb baby whore.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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