why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
