I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
