Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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