Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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