Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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