please come you make the beer taste better
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize