Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just invented taco cereal.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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