guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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