You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
