"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
worst night to have a conscience
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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