the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
