yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
