woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize