I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
