This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Randomize
