dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
This show inspires me to have sex in space
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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