Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
