Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
