just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
