Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
