I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
