He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
