all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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