I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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