I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
