My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
