How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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