that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
