in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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