My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize