Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
