I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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