Ambien. No doubt about it.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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