I wanna passion pit in your ass
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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