I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
