Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize