Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
