dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
