Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
