he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
