I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
As shirtless as possible
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Never let your siblings swipe right.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
