I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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