what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
