i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
