Me. At least after what I've been through.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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