I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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