im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
