I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
