And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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