yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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