I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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