if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
