just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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