is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
