They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize