So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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