Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
