Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
