Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
