I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
