My room smells like vodka and shame
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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